AKA April 17th #lentphotoaday prompt word is “AMONG”
I sing the National Anthem on top of a firetruck every Thanksgiving morning. It’s an honor to be asked because it’s an honor to serenade and thank the new recruits at the Great Lake Naval Base every year. These kids are most likely far away from home and I am sure missing their family. So our local amazing Moose Lodge #1969 here in Wauconda, of which I am a member, picks them up in a bus and feeds them a glorious Thanksgiving meal. But before they are fed, they bring them to Main Street where they can be honored AMONG our supporting and loving community.
As much as my husband and I have been able to, in the past 15 years living here, we try to give back to our community. We raised three kids and we have successfully finished that era, sending out last off to college this year. So we feel like we can start truly digging in…more time allocated to give back. We have tried to our best to keep the balance and help on top of our parental duties. We donate our time and talents when we can. He DJs for events like National Night Out and I donate my singing for events like the Turkey Trot and Memorial Day. We do also get hired to provide entertainment for events as well, but we always try to give back in some way. Our goal in the next two years is to establish a more solid commitment as to where and how can put our greatest gifts forward, whether it is more active in the Moose charities or perhaps even helping support Bangs Lake. We look forward to the next chapter for us to be more of an asset to our lovely town.
In events like the troops at Thanksgiving and the Turkey Trot race that 100% raises money for charities, we are surrounded by all the workers who are volunteering their time and energy. It feels so powerful to be AMONG a community that comes together in unity, to support and share the responsibility of taking care of one another.
HERE for it. Present. Ready and willing. Open to God.
I talked about this little Lent refection project to my therapist today. I hadn’t seen her for a few weeks since I was sick, then hospitalized for a week. She was worried and we had a lot of catch up on, mostly focusing on how I need to put all my concentration on getting better. There is no more room for any energy to go elsewhere, other than healing up. We talked about how me being more present to reflect during these spiritually guided meditations is really helping me to stay in my lane. It’s also filling my empty and lonely times with purpose.
So let’s dig in. With Easter just a hop, skip and a jump away…see what I did there?
Not HERE: On what we call Easter Day, Mary Magdalene and the women go into the tomb to see Jesus’ body and they are met with these words: Matthew 28:5-6“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.”
I remember going to Sunday school when I would stay with my grandparents in New Franklin, Ohio. My parents would drop us off there for a week at a time, when they would go on fancy, tropical vacations with friends. There were the good church and there was the yucky church. The good church was the little Presbyterian church right down the street from their house. Grandma was the Sunday school teacher and I can almost smell the glue that we would use to adhere the felt Jesus on the construction paper. We would paste him coming out of the tomb where he was resurrected and leaving for his ascension to Heaven. We colored in the words “HE HAS RISEN” and we framed the paper with popsicle sticks. Then we drank apple juice and munched on Voortman-esque wafer cookies.
I feel like I need a refresher. I remember there being a Jesus cross and resurrection timeline, but I don’t remember the details.
WHOA. I’ll give you a minute. Fascinating to look at it with grown up eyes.
So, Nisan is the first month is the Jewish calendar. Palm Sunday is also the 10th day of Nisan. Today is the 13th of Nisan. To put it in the perspective of this week, on Sunday, the 10th of Nisan, Jesus called himself the Passover Lamb. Wednesday (today) is the day before The Last Supper. It’s also the day that Judas decides to betray Jesus and also, they are getting ready to have a last meal together. Wouldn’t you have given anything to be seated at that table?
#lentphotoaday weekend catch-up for April 12th, 13th and 14th “SILENT,” “CELEBRATE,” and “PREPARED“
I guess I can’t really get myself out of Saturday’s prompt by being SILENT. (insert cheeky grin). This is my journey and it’s pointless for me not to be on the actual ride, so off we go.
There is “A time to keep silent, and a time to speak” – Ecclesiates 3:7.
I have spent my whole life getting into trouble being too vocal. Mostly oversharing. I think it’s a battle of self-control. Proverbs 17:28 says “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Focusing on being interested in listening, instead of talking is always good practice. In my younger years, I think it might have come off as more cute and a little kooky. Now, it definitely puts people off and I think it’s one of the reasons that, particularly right now, I’m short in the friend department. I’m nothing if not self-aware. That’s a 2025 goal to find a new friend. I am putting in the work and the reflection and I do think opening myself up to be more spiritual is part of the process. It’s just a symptom of being lonely. It can be corrected. For starters, I have been working on trying not to share every little feeling that I have with every little conversation I have. It’s been a practice that I have been working on for at least a year. Sometimes I think it backfires because I think it just makes me come off as a little weird and distant. I’m still tweaking it, as I continue to be a work in progress. Getting out more, focusing on others, searching for ways to put myself into the land of the living is another perfect spring goal. In the SILENT moments, my heart, my ears and my mind remain open to everything.
In our current political environment, it’s hard to find the CELEBRATIONS. But they are all around us, we just have to open up our eyes to find them. Birthdays and anniversaries happen around us every day. Last week I got to celebrate two amazing birthdays of two out of three of my outstanding children. These were CELEBRATIONS that were responses to God’s gifts of the blessings we have in our lives. My oldest turned a quarter of a century and that’s certainly a humdinger. My baby turned 19 and while she was a thousand miles away at college, I worked really hard to make sure she felt celebrated, even when she was not with her family for the first time in her life. I sent her a cheesecake and she loved it. I went out of my comfort zone and went to a Comicon show with my son; loved every minute. Meet the world’s newest D&D fan. I figured out workarounds to make their celebrations happen and being to CELEBRATE joy and thanks of one of God’s many great gifts.
Lots of different meanings in the Bible for PREPARED. It can mean preparing for events coming, as in spiritual readiness or just simply packing a good backpack to be ready to do God’s good work. I would like to think that packing that bag and figuring out what to put in it is kind of part of my journey here. I am exploring what tools and supplies I may need to become a better spiritual version of myself. Noah built the Ark, The Wise versions prepared their lamps, Israelites preparing for Passover. This way, when the time comes that I need to call on my spirituality for help and guidance, I am PREPARED.
I’m going to go a little bit of a different route on today’s word, and focus on the Beatitudes. The Beatitudes are a set of eight blessings recited by Jesus in Matthew’s Gospel (5:3-12) and four in Luke’s Gospel (6:20-23). I def had to Google that.
As a core part of the Sermon on the Mount, I grew up hearing these words. Beautus is Latin for “Happy” or “BLESSED.” Basically, these are the qualities based on those who belong in Heaven. Whoof. Tall order?
To be “poor in spirit” means to acknowledge ones deepest human need for God and to grow into that longing and that dependence on a daily basis. You kind of have to want it. And know you want it. You could be walking around out there, all “poor in spirit”, but are you poor if it’s not even on your radar? But it’s like God has your back anyway. He’s holding down the fort for if, and when, you want to spiritually grow. I happened recently have my “Aha” moment and now I am here for it.
Mourning. Oof. The Bible reminds us that death is not the end, and that mourning is temporary. This is where faith of knowing our loved ones are in a better place and that we will hopefully see them again comes in, and it’s quite the multi-layered concept. After basically two years of shock, I am settling into my mourning and grief of my father. It’s every day with me. It’s always me hoping that he has a beautiful spot in Heaven, he is watching over us and he is waiting to see us again. Sometimes, when I hear myself talk about these feelings, I feel like I have the spirituality of a 9 year old. And I am ok with that. Works for me.
In Bibleland, meek does not equal weak. No sir. It’s not about being passive, shy and timid. It’s about humility, gentleness and patience. I find it hard to stay obedient in a political climate that has us in a chokehold. If I stay quiet, if I don’t fight back, if I let them walk all over me, am I weak or meek? I think it’s more strength of control. I argue with the concept that we need to submit without resistance when facing our chaotic national crisis, but spiritually, I feel it easier just to relent.
OK, Google AI, I see you. “In the context of Matthew 5:6, ‘hunger and thirst for righteousness‘ signifies a deep, passionate desire for what is morally right and just, a yearning for a relationship with God and a life that reflects His character, which is a spiritual need that, when fulfilled, brings true satisfaction.” I mean, I feel like I am going back to SCHOOL here. So, I see this as a call to action. We get hungry so we eat and we get thirsty so we drink. Hunger and thirst for righteousness is longing spiritually for growth and connection to God. Feed it and you come closer to living a life that feels worthy.
Mercy seems to be like a BBF of grace. Mercy is often expressed through the pardon of sins, second chances, forgiveness. I LOVE the word grace and the whole concept of it. It’s really one of my favorites. God’s unearned favor and kindness is such a beautiful thing to me because so many of us are so darn hard on ourselves. Knowing that there is just a simple hug out there for you when you can’t hug yourself is everything. The Bible starts strong with mercy when God forgives Adam and Eve. Then he heads over and forgives the Egyptian slave delivery of Israelites. Let’s not forget the actual sacrifice of Jesus Christ for the sins of humanity. It might be a hard sell to think that we are encouraged to be nice to our enemies, to forgive those who hurt us and to give to them without getting back. We can strive to give people what they need and not what they deserve. Let the big guy take care of that. That’s what he does with us.
My goodness, could we use a good peacemaker right now. I can’t help but to keep on referring to the big conflict, the big elephant in the room as our nation in crisis. It seems too lofty a request to try to find someone, a few, a gaggle of peacemakers to help pull us out of this shitstorm. When I am overwhelmed with the bigness of something like this, I have a panic attack, cry and then I break it down. How can I find peace in this moment to make me feel better? To make the ones I love feel more peaceful? Quite apparently these days, I’m going with God for 500, Alex. Where are our Ghandi’s, Mother Teresa’s, Martin Luther King’s? Our Desmond Tutu’s, Dali Lama’s, John Lennon’s? No seriously. Where are they. Someone point them out to me. I don’t think we fully really knew they trying to peace out the world until after the fact? I mean, we all knew that MLK was doing brave, great and powerful things. Mother Teresa, hello. Ghandhi, pfft obviously. I don’t know if we can pinpoint a champion right now. So I go to God. And Dr. Heather Cox Richardson for a daily health fact-based update of our democracy. You go girl.
And finally, we can address righteous persecution, also know as faith under pressure. One can lead a good life, have good morals, honor God and his ways, and you get beat up for it. Prophets Elijah and Jerimiah were God-shamed for sure. Elijah stuck to his guns and was rewarded by getting a sweet ride to Heaven in a fiery Chariot. Jeremiah, as known as “The Weeping Prophet”, tried to warn Israel of the consequences of broken covenants, but nooooo they wouldn’t listen. He was an empath, for sure. He was also super hard on himself. But he had courage and he stuck with his convictions, even when his own family bailed on him. He put in a lot of effort and he didn’t get to see those results, just a lifetime of bullying. But it was the impact of his lifetime deeds that God and generations after used to as an example of perseverance in ministry.
NEED vs. want is a concept hitting pretty hard right now. Especially in this climate of our country that is in such a state of economic chaos.
In the context of the Bible, there are numerous instances where it talks about the “physical” and the “spiritual.”
We NEED food, we NEED shelter, we NEED warmth. We NEED guidance, we NEED salvation, we NEED redemption.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have been comfort shopping. I was doing it since last fall, when I’ve been sporadically laid up with my health issues. It me feel better to buy a little something, something here and there. Amazon.com has my evil little shopping buddy.
What makes all of this worse is that because I have not been feeling well, I haven’t been working as much and, in this insane political and economical climate, our family should be saving every penny. Especially when we’re trying to pay off two kids college tuitions.
Today I ventured out to The Jewel, and I needed just a few things. Still not feeling well: weak, walking through the store kinda groggy, forgetting things, bumping into things… zombie shopping. I get to self check out. It is just as much a routine for me to donate a little extra to whatever charity comes up on the keypad, as it is to enter my Jewel membership number.
I am lucky, I am blessed, I can buy groceries, and every time I do that, I can take a teeny amount of that and have it to help somebody else. Nothing off my back. The people in NEED may be nameless and faceless to me, but it requires no effort to make a gesture.
Finishing up my groceries, I put them in my little bag I brought from home. I hit the big “pay” button and when it asks me if I want to donate money to a family food donation fund, I accidentally hit no.
I kind of caught myself. My fingers were flying fast. But at this point, I have to get out of there… Not feeling well, need to put my groceries away and lie down. I throw the bag in the cart. I start to walk away, just a little bit. Just a few steps.
IT IS A DOLLAR. Pull yourself together!
I can’t. I can’t do it. Because I know that at 3:45 AM in the morning, I’m going to be laying in bed upset at myself. I was probably standing there for maybe 60 seconds but I had 5000 thoughts flying in my head at the same time. Always such a strange thing. But one of those millions of thoughts was “What if everybody forgot to hit ‘yes’ today. I bet they add up and people will suffer.”
Above the self checkout machine is a row of candy and gum. I grabbed a pack of peanut M&Ms. Yeah, I’m diabetic…so? Add, donate, pay.
#lentphotoaday
I felt totally better as I pushed my cart to the car, packed up the groceries and headed home.
It’s an important reminder that we need to turn our compassion from ourselves to others. No support can be too small.
Referring back to the greedy shopping, last week I finally pulled myself together. I stopped making doom scroll purchases and I reminded myself to ask the question: Do I NEED this or do I do I just want it?
Philippians 4:19
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
God does provide the NEEDS, we just keep the faith to find them. And if others need guidance and help, we can take them by the hand and lead the way.
If you read my last blog, conveniently written just three fresh hour ago, you are caught up on all my nonsense. It’s easier of you just to fill yourself in, then come back. I’ll be here.
Ok, so this is funny. I was an actor in the city of Chicago for years. Out of college as a theater major, I was in a couple of different theater companies. The first troupe was called Studio 108. It was a silly, albeit freaking cutting-edge, ground-breaking, totally brilliant and talented gaggle of all my best college besties. Onstage shenanigans galore. We subsidized our meager performance pay with boring 9 to 5’s. Simon’s Tavern in Andersonville was our church and the Jukebox was our choir. We chain-smoked Marlboro Lights, made out with each other in the back alley, filled our empty bellies with meat (Guinness) and Melort backs. Tiny Chili Frito bags were 50 cents and we just kept.them.coming. Artistically, the mission of our productions was crazypants. We all had pseudo characters that put on pseudo productions. Actors, playing actors, playing actors. Hey, Waiting for Guffman, we beat you to it.
#lentphotoaday
My character was called Quarkee Borkenhagen. Adorable, dumb as a rock, all things precious and a little smidge touched. She misspelled her name every single time she used it. Quorqi, Qwuerkie, Quarkie. She also played Angel Gabriel in the Christmas Nativity scene of one of our holiday productions. To set the scene, the audience threw Styrofoam snowballs at everyone partying in the Manger scene. For proof and authenticity proposes, there is no actual proof. Just the good word on the streets. There is no video of these performances, as it was basically before actual Christ time when I was in college and before these times of cell phones. But just picture…blonde Betty Boop, in mis-fitting angel clothes, tripping over her sheep hook, buzzed on Mickey’s beer and talking like a Charlie Brown character. Listen. In my world that I was living in during that actual moment, I was BRINGing it.
And that was my big line. Luke 2:10-11.
Fast forward thirty years. Oof.
But I jest. Now BRING obviously has different meanings and comes from different places. I am now wearing different caps. In the Bible, it also has different meanings. To fetch, to lead, to gather or cause to come. Jesus invites us to participate. He doesn’t order us…we can R.S.V.P how we want. I certainty am feeling like replying yes a little more these days.
So what can I BRING to the table? I feel like I can bring faith. I can have faith in the world we are struggling though and my health issues and that my family will be okay. I can also BRING my perspective to others, pass the spark, move the torch, light a fire. He brings us the story. It’s up to us if we chose to listen.
Or also know as: A Lenten Reflective Journey…With Hiccups.
Ahhh, Facebook….the best online hang in the world to connect, yet simultaneously annoying, politically stressful and chock full of HACKERS.
Last month, I saw a dear friend involved in a Facebook #rethinkchurch daily practice, inspired by The United Methodist Church. She was participating with another lovely friend who moved to the Big Stone Gap, and it’s been nice to be able to keep tabs on her and her wonderful life out there. I was intrigued by the idea of spiritual reflection, with a sprinkle of accountability. It’s always been a good look for me. In the last three years, I very painfully lost my dad and have been suffering from chronic health issues. My kids are getting older, life is moving so much faster. I feel very grateful for my soul mate husband, my loving children, family, friends, my home and my life. I am washed over with the overwhelming need to express my gratitude and thankfulness.
I had somewhat of a darker experience with religion when I was younger. Dark isn’t quite the right word. It’s not a positive word to pinpoint, but it was…problematic? So, as we sometimes do, I put it all in my pocket and I shoved it in the back of the closet. Well. Seems like I’m feeling the need to clean a little house. Exploring my relationship with religion and God has slowing inched over to me on the couch. I’m starting to lean in and I’m starting to listen.
At the beginning of March, I started the daily #lentphotoaday, prompted by a suggested word. I would post it on my FB page, tagging my reflective Lent tribe. I loved it. I was waking up every morning, inspired by nature outside my window, old photos, memories and pulling out our old family Bible. It all felt very cathartic and warm to explore.
And then we got Facebooked hacked.
And then I got really sick.
And then, instead of being able to reflect on my past, present and future relationship with God, and preparing for Easter in my own little way, I was just praying to God that I would get better and not die in the hospital. Not the journey I was intending.
I was in there seven days with a virus that turned pneumonic, and heavy IV steroids that bumped me to coma-high blood sugars. All of that craziness thrust me into a rancid, full-blown case of Diabetes. It sounds dramatic because it is. It sucks. I’m home now in insulin, bruised like a pin cushion, beat-up, weak and exhausted. My new medical path has changed and I will be now focusing on getting better. But I remain positive because LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. I am babying myself so I can keep plugging along. Summer is coming…summer is coming.
In the end, if I can also be honest, I think this worked out. It’s getting me writing again. Also, It was not a comfortable platform for me to be sharing my reflections anyway. My FB circle is used to handling my funny meme’s, annoying mom brag posts and lots of music promotional material. I think it works out for me to head over to this crazy little Heatherland. Its feels so much more appropriate; a public blog, but ironically personal, since no one really reads it.
Therefore, here I am, jumping back into the Lent pool.
HEATHERLAND 