Tag Archives: beach

Apr 18 2025
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Bible, family, health, kids, Marriage, parenting, random, The Wound Cronicles, writing

Easter Reflections: A Journey of Remembrance

AKA #lentphotoaday April 18th, prompt word is “REMEMBER”

#lentphotoaday

Luke 24:6-7: “He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee.” This passage reminds the disciples that Jesus is not dead but has risen, echoing the message of his resurrection.

The above picture is from Easter in Florida, 2017. I found this picture and I was the first time in years, I sat down to look at all the images and really REMEMBERed this awesome vacation. We went to a beautiful Easter service at my parent’s church at First Presbyterian in Naples. This was the last trip we took to Florida as a family. The service was gorgeous. There was a packed house and stunning flowers everywhere. The room was packed with Lily Pulitzer, Hermes, Vineyard Vines, massive waves of seersucker and loads of Khaki. Those wealthy Presbys really know how to put on a fancy Easter.

My parent’s last home they lived in there was at the Ritz compound and the club they belonged to was exquisite. They lived in a few places over the years in Naples and we were fortunate to be able to bring the kids a handful of times. We didn’t have much money to travel but my dad was always generous, making our trips over the years Christmas presents for the family. This last trip was extra. We lived liked kings that vacation. I remember work was really crazy for Mike and it was good that he was able to get away and relax. Charlie was really struggling with pre-transition anxiety and the ocean air did us all good. We felt vey blessed to have this time to be together as a family and with my dad and stepmom.

Sometime this above beach day, I got a little weird bug bite on my stomach in the water. Four days later, I was clinging to life with six IV’s in me, almost dying of an aggressive staph infection. I would spent the next five weeks with a wound vac in my stomach. Egads! My health has been erratic ever since. Who knew that day, after such beach perfection, chaos would ensue and it would also be our last in Florida together with my dad.

My kids have always eyerolled at all the pictures I take. But honestly, thank God I did. Being able to look back and REMEMBER has been one of the great pleasures in my life. In the hustle and bustle of life’s grind, it’s essential to remember that we have had a really great, blessed life together as a family.

Easter is always a time for family, but it is the commemoration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ that gathers us all together. We are grateful for his sacrifice, while offering hope for eternal life.

Love you.

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Feb 07 2022
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death, family, Getting old, kids, parenting, writing

Twinkle Toes: A Love Story to Dementia Dad.

The Sea Island sun blinds me when I look up to see your face. I stop-salute you and squint to block it from my eyes. You and your mustached-face looks down at me, smiling. You reach down to grab my nose and peek your thumb out of your knuckle sandwich. You hold it up and say, “got your nose!”

“Give it Back!” I yell, but I’m laughing and I’m chasing your serpentine. Back and forth, in and out of the water. I follow your footsteps and try to match them. I put my foot inside yours and I squish it all around. The waves are awfully loud, but I love them and then you grab me and give me my nose back.

I love any beach or water anywhere forever and ever and it’s because of moments like this. It’s safe, you are relaxed and it just means love. I have to run fast to keep up: one-two-three-four Heathersteps, in and out of the water, equal one big Daddystep. You laugh and stop and wait for me. Then you grab my hand. It’s so windy and the waves are so big and they break the silence in a way that makes me close my eyes and be happy. It smells so good. You are so tall and I look up at you and you laugh out the words, “hurry up, twinkle toes.”

I giggle when you take the shells I give you and you say “Ooooooooh, that’s a good one“.

I feel proud that I picked it and you put it in your pocket. I am twirling round and round with the sand between my toes. When I dizzy-stop, stumble and laugh, you are walking back. You’re done. I stop-salute and squint, watching you get smaller as you walk away. You yell back, “Go to mom now.“

***

I’m a bad actor and I can’t fake it anymore. I am screaming inside and crying and keening and wailing. Every tiny cell of me is tired. We are now in Defcon 1. I can’t control you. You can’t figure out reason or make sense of anything. There are not people in the corners trying to hurt you. You are not being poisoned. We are not trying to kill you. I wish I could rescue you from the alien world that you are living in your head. It seems so scary and mean and awful. I’d give anything to Stranger Things you outta there.

I spend hours trying to show you how much I love you. Even when I am not with you, I still worry and wonder if you are ok. I’m so sad that you are leaving me; that you have already kind of left. The other night in the wee hours, you were yelling at me:

You do not care if I die.

You are out to get rid of me.

You are not on my team.

You don’t have my back.

When you say these things, I can handle it. Your words bounce off me onto the floor. I can step on them a little and kick them under the couch. I know you don’t mean it. I know you are sick. I am tough and I can fight them off.

Your face looks so different now. I remember being little and tracing your face with my fingertips. “Oops…got your nose.”

I know you can no longer read your books; now it’s only faces. I am sorry that sometimes I don’t look at you when we talk. I try to make my face happy, but sometimes, I just can’t.

Feelings transition to some kind of desperation. I want someone there with me to see what I have to do. I need a wingman. I want someone to hug me. I need help with you. I need you to help me with you. I long for the dad I had, to give me advice about the dad I have now. I feel desert Island lonely.

This journey has given me some useful takeaways and Heather 2022 has a new criteria for friendship.: Choose the right people who deserve to hear your story. I love hearing stories of the people I love and I know they hear me back. There is nothing worse than realizing that someone don’t want all of the sides of you. I have been screaming from the inside of insides. I don’t have the energy to only listen and not be heard. I hope to replenish soon.

I think I am spending so much time writing this to procrastinate making phone calls. Calls to find somewhere we can move you away from the home that you worked so hard for and away from the life you knew. Can I call in a sub for this too? Inhale…exhale…

I took a night off from being with you last night to sleep in a real bed. Today, I head back to you and the couch. When I get in the car, I will cry. I will walk in the door with a smile. I will try not to lose it, but sometimes I do. You threw a box of tissues at me the other night. I karate-chopped it from my face and the box went flying. It was actually super funny. Wish you were there.

Love you,

Twinkle Toes

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Jul 24 2012
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random

Heatherevent: A Definition.

 Heatherevent [spelled phonetically, in case you are truly the biggest idiot on the planet: HEH-THER-EE-VENT]: an annoying and stupid occurrence or event that happens to me on a daily basis.

The Goofball in Question.

Here are some past Heatherevent posts from Facebook.  Stupid random shit happens to me.  It’s a wonder that I make it through the day.

 “Today’s Heathervent: I just walked into the laundry room to change out the clothes and an entire industrial strength ginormous jug of detergent was thrown off the washer during the rinse cycle, shattering the top and emptying the entire contents of new bottle onto whole floor of room. Cocktail, please.”

Could Have Been Worse.

“Heathervent of the day: not only were [Thor] and I stupid enough to be the only people to go out to movie and dinner in a snowstorm last night for my birthday; I insisted on wearing high heeled-boots.  Eventually, I slipped two times coming into house and busted finger. Nice.”

Disclaimer. This is not me. I am totally hotter.

“Medieval Heatherevent: what NOT to do when you have a massive horse allergy – forget to move inhaler to new purse and then completely have huge asthma attack in enclosed space with fog and horses running around. Otherwise you may end up outside missing the whole show with about six really cute fireman and paramedics giving you a neb treatment in the parking lot. *sigh*”

“Beach Heatherevent: Great day at the beach with my cousin [Apricot] and friend [Volly].  See that line from the cooler??? You know how hard is is to drag a cooler with wheels on sand? [Alpha] was pulling it and getting a workout so I tried to help him pull. He grabbed a chair I was carrying off of my arm and when it whipped around, he whacked me right on my face…then two seconds later, [Apricot] bent down to help me and whacked me right across the head. True live stooges action. In other news, [Apricot] just took a day full of gorgeous beach pictures with no memory card. Livin’ la vida loca, bitches!”

Image

“The Heatherevent of the day already happened and it’s a doozy. This was back when the guys and I were performing in NYC.   You know the hair iron that TSA stole at the Dullas airport and I practically launched a nationwide Facebook smear campaign because of the erroneous theft? [PianoMan] and [BassMan], remember how I berated every poor employee we ran into at the airport, warning them to not steal ANOTHER $200 hair iron from me? [Nana Toad], remember when I cried and said that nice guys finished last and called the hotel 100 times to check if they found it? Well, looky looky, check out cookie: I just found it. In the side pocket of the garment bag that I just took to NY. It was sitting in there for 7 months. I suck.”

THOSE AREN’T PILLOWS!

“Coffee Heatherevent: I spilled my Starbucks DOWN the front of my dress walking into work tonight. TWICE. Like, right down through the boob canal. I smell like a grande decaf americano. And roses, thanktoyouverymuch. But I don’t think you should buy below above shirt for $85. (REEDONKULOUS) Instead, I will happily sell you my cute baby doll dress for $8.50.   People are suckers. “

Sadly, there are a million more Heatherevents occurring by the second.  Already this morning, [Thor] had to wake me up because I had both my phone charger and ear phones wrapped around my neck like a fetus.  Weeeeee!

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