Category Archives: health

Apr 18 2025
Leave a comment
Bible, family, health, kids, Marriage, parenting, random, The Wound Cronicles, writing

Easter Reflections: A Journey of Remembrance

AKA #lentphotoaday April 18th, prompt word is “REMEMBER”

#lentphotoaday

Luke 24:6-7: “He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee.” This passage reminds the disciples that Jesus is not dead but has risen, echoing the message of his resurrection.

The above picture is from Easter in Florida, 2017. I found this picture and I was the first time in years, I sat down to look at all the images and really REMEMBERed this awesome vacation. We went to a beautiful Easter service at my parent’s church at First Presbyterian in Naples. This was the last trip we took to Florida as a family. The service was gorgeous. There was a packed house and stunning flowers everywhere. The room was packed with Lily Pulitzer, Hermes, Vineyard Vines, massive waves of seersucker and loads of Khaki. Those wealthy Presbys really know how to put on a fancy Easter.

My parent’s last home they lived in there was at the Ritz compound and the club they belonged to was exquisite. They lived in a few places over the years in Naples and we were fortunate to be able to bring the kids a handful of times. We didn’t have much money to travel but my dad was always generous, making our trips over the years Christmas presents for the family. This last trip was extra. We lived liked kings that vacation. I remember work was really crazy for Mike and it was good that he was able to get away and relax. Charlie was really struggling with pre-transition anxiety and the ocean air did us all good. We felt vey blessed to have this time to be together as a family and with my dad and stepmom.

Sometime this above beach day, I got a little weird bug bite on my stomach in the water. Four days later, I was clinging to life with six IV’s in me, almost dying of an aggressive staph infection. I would spent the next five weeks with a wound vac in my stomach. Egads! My health has been erratic ever since. Who knew that day, after such beach perfection, chaos would ensue and it would also be our last in Florida together with my dad.

My kids have always eyerolled at all the pictures I take. But honestly, thank God I did. Being able to look back and REMEMBER has been one of the great pleasures in my life. In the hustle and bustle of life’s grind, it’s essential to remember that we have had a really great, blessed life together as a family.

Easter is always a time for family, but it is the commemoration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ that gathers us all together. We are grateful for his sacrifice, while offering hope for eternal life.

Love you.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 16 2025
Leave a comment
Bible, health, random

Healing and Reflection: A Journey Through Lent

AKA #lentphotoaday April 16th, word is “HERE“

HERE for it. Present. Ready and willing. Open to God.

I talked about this little Lent refection project to my therapist today. I hadn’t seen her for a few weeks since I was sick, then hospitalized for a week. She was worried and we had a lot of catch up on, mostly focusing on how I need to put all my concentration on getting better. There is no more room for any energy to go elsewhere, other than healing up. We talked about how me being more present to reflect during these spiritually guided meditations is really helping me to stay in my lane. It’s also filling my empty and lonely times with purpose.

So let’s dig in. With Easter just a hop, skip and a jump away…see what I did there?

Not HERE: On what we call Easter Day, Mary Magdalene and the women go into the tomb to see Jesus’ body and they are met with these words: Matthew 28:5-6 “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him.”

I remember going to Sunday school when I would stay with my grandparents in New Franklin, Ohio. My parents would drop us off there for a week at a time, when they would go on fancy, tropical vacations with friends. There were the good church and there was the yucky church. The good church was the little Presbyterian church right down the street from their house. Grandma was the Sunday school teacher and I can almost smell the glue that we would use to adhere the felt Jesus on the construction paper. We would paste him coming out of the tomb where he was resurrected and leaving for his ascension to Heaven. We colored in the words “HE HAS RISEN” and we framed the paper with popsicle sticks. Then we drank apple juice and munched on Voortman-esque wafer cookies.

I feel like I need a refresher. I remember there being a Jesus cross and resurrection timeline, but I don’t remember the details.

WHOA. I’ll give you a minute. Fascinating to look at it with grown up eyes.

So, Nisan is the first month is the Jewish calendar. Palm Sunday is also the 10th day of Nisan. Today is the 13th of Nisan. To put it in the perspective of this week, on Sunday, the 10th of Nisan, Jesus called himself the Passover Lamb. Wednesday (today) is the day before The Last Supper. It’s also the day that Judas decides to betray Jesus and also, they are getting ready to have a last meal together. Wouldn’t you have given anything to be seated at that table?

Love you.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 15 2025
Leave a comment
Bible, family, health, holidays, random, writing

Journey of Silence, Celebration, and Preparation

#lentphotoaday weekend catch-up for April 12th, 13th and 14th “SILENT,” “CELEBRATE,” and “PREPARED“

I guess I can’t really get myself out of Saturday’s prompt by being SILENT. (insert cheeky grin). This is my journey and it’s pointless for me not to be on the actual ride, so off we go.

There is “A time to keep silent, and a time to speak” – Ecclesiates 3:7. 

I have spent my whole life getting into trouble being too vocal. Mostly oversharing. I think it’s a battle of self-control. Proverbs 17:28 says  “Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Focusing on being interested in listening, instead of talking is always good practice. In my younger years, I think it might have come off as more cute and a little kooky. Now, it definitely puts people off and I think it’s one of the reasons that, particularly right now, I’m short in the friend department. I’m nothing if not self-aware. That’s a 2025 goal to find a new friend. I am putting in the work and the reflection and I do think opening myself up to be more spiritual is part of the process. It’s just a symptom of being lonely. It can be corrected. For starters, I have been working on trying not to share every little feeling that I have with every little conversation I have. It’s been a practice that I have been working on for at least a year. Sometimes I think it backfires because I think it just makes me come off as a little weird and distant. I’m still tweaking it, as I continue to be a work in progress. Getting out more, focusing on others, searching for ways to put myself into the land of the living is another perfect spring goal. In the SILENT moments, my heart, my ears and my mind remain open to everything.

In our current political environment, it’s hard to find the CELEBRATIONS. But they are all around us, we just have to open up our eyes to find them. Birthdays and anniversaries happen around us every day. Last week I got to celebrate two amazing birthdays of two out of three of my outstanding children. These were CELEBRATIONS that were responses to God’s gifts of the blessings we have in our lives. My oldest turned a quarter of a century and that’s certainly a humdinger. My baby turned 19 and while she was a thousand miles away at college, I worked really hard to make sure she felt celebrated, even when she was not with her family for the first time in her life. I sent her a cheesecake and she loved it. I went out of my comfort zone and went to a Comicon show with my son; loved every minute. Meet the world’s newest D&D fan. I figured out workarounds to make their celebrations happen and being to CELEBRATE joy and thanks of one of God’s many great gifts.

Lots of different meanings in the Bible for PREPARED. It can mean preparing for events coming, as in spiritual readiness or just simply packing a good backpack to be ready to do God’s good work. I would like to think that packing that bag and figuring out what to put in it is kind of part of my journey here. I am exploring what tools and supplies I may need to become a better spiritual version of myself. Noah built the Ark, The Wise versions prepared their lamps, Israelites preparing for Passover. This way, when the time comes that I need to call on my spirituality for help and guidance, I am PREPARED.

Love you.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 10 2025
Leave a comment
Auto Immune Disease, Bible, family, health, Money, random

#lentphotoaday April 9 “NEED”

NEED vs. want is a concept hitting pretty hard right now. Especially in this climate of our country that is in such a state of economic chaos.

In the context of the Bible, there are numerous instances where it talks about the “physical” and the “spiritual.”

We NEED food, we NEED shelter, we NEED warmth. We NEED guidance, we NEED salvation, we NEED redemption.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have been comfort shopping. I was doing it since last fall, when I’ve been sporadically laid up with my health issues. It me feel better to buy a little something, something here and there. Amazon.com has my evil little shopping buddy.

What makes all of this worse is that because I have not been feeling well, I haven’t been working as much and, in this insane political and economical climate, our family should be saving every penny. Especially when we’re trying to pay off two kids college tuitions.

Today I ventured out to The Jewel, and I needed just a few things. Still not feeling well: weak, walking through the store kinda groggy, forgetting things, bumping into things… zombie shopping. I get to self check out. It is just as much a routine for me to donate a little extra to whatever charity comes up on the keypad, as it is to enter my Jewel membership number.

I am lucky, I am blessed, I can buy groceries, and every time I do that, I can take a teeny amount of that and have it to help somebody else. Nothing off my back. The people in NEED may be nameless and faceless to me, but it requires no effort to make a gesture.

Finishing up my groceries, I put them in my little bag I brought from home. I hit the big “pay” button and when it asks me if I want to donate money to a family food donation fund, I accidentally hit no.

I kind of caught myself. My fingers were flying fast. But at this point, I have to get out of there… Not feeling well, need to put my groceries away and lie down. I throw the bag in the cart. I start to walk away, just a little bit. Just a few steps.

IT IS A DOLLAR. Pull yourself together!

I can’t. I can’t do it. Because I know that at 3:45 AM in the morning, I’m going to be laying in bed upset at myself. I was probably standing there for maybe 60 seconds but I had 5000 thoughts flying in my head at the same time. Always such a strange thing. But one of those millions of thoughts was “What if everybody forgot to hit ‘yes’ today. I bet they add up and people will suffer.”

Above the self checkout machine is a row of candy and gum. I grabbed a pack of peanut M&Ms. Yeah, I’m diabetic…so? Add, donate, pay.

#lentphotoaday

I felt totally better as I pushed my cart to the car, packed up the groceries and headed home.

It’s an important reminder that we need to turn our compassion from ourselves to others. No support can be too small.

Referring back to the greedy shopping, last week I finally pulled myself together. I stopped making doom scroll purchases and I reminded myself to ask the question: Do I NEED this or do I do I just want it?

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

God does provide the NEEDS, we just keep the faith to find them. And if others need guidance and help, we can take them by the hand and lead the way.

Love you.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 08 2025
Leave a comment
Bible, Chicago, Chicago Actor, Chicago Theater, Chicago Theatre, family, health, Heatherevent, Performing, random

#Lentphotoaday April 8th. “BRING”

Ok, ok, I’ll BRING it.

If you read my last blog, conveniently written just three fresh hour ago, you are caught up on all my nonsense. It’s easier of you just to fill yourself in, then come back. I’ll be here.

As it states in Luke 2: 10-11,

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.“

Ok, so this is funny. I was an actor in the city of Chicago for years. Out of college as a theater major, I was in a couple of different theater companies. The first troupe was called Studio 108. It was a silly, albeit freaking cutting-edge, ground-breaking, totally brilliant and talented gaggle of all my best college besties. Onstage shenanigans galore. We subsidized our meager performance pay with boring 9 to 5’s. Simon’s Tavern in Andersonville was our church and the Jukebox was our choir. We chain-smoked Marlboro Lights, made out with each other in the back alley, filled our empty bellies with meat (Guinness) and Melort backs. Tiny Chili Frito bags were 50 cents and we just kept.them.coming. Artistically, the mission of our productions was crazypants. We all had pseudo characters that put on pseudo productions. Actors, playing actors, playing actors. Hey, Waiting for Guffman, we beat you to it.

#lentphotoaday

My character was called Quarkee Borkenhagen. Adorable, dumb as a rock, all things precious and a little smidge touched. She misspelled her name every single time she used it. Quorqi, Qwuerkie, Quarkie. She also played Angel Gabriel in the Christmas Nativity scene of one of our holiday productions. To set the scene, the audience threw Styrofoam snowballs at everyone partying in the Manger scene. For proof and authenticity proposes, there is no actual proof. Just the good word on the streets. There is no video of these performances, as it was basically before actual Christ time when I was in college and before these times of cell phones. But just picture…blonde Betty Boop, in mis-fitting angel clothes, tripping over her sheep hook, buzzed on Mickey’s beer and talking like a Charlie Brown character. Listen. In my world that I was living in during that actual moment, I was BRINGing it.

And that was my big line. Luke 2:10-11.

Fast forward thirty years. Oof.

But I jest. Now BRING obviously has different meanings and comes from different places. I am now wearing different caps. In the Bible, it also has different meanings. To fetch, to lead, to gather or cause to come. Jesus invites us to participate. He doesn’t order us…we can R.S.V.P how we want. I certainty am feeling like replying yes a little more these days.

So what can I BRING to the table? I feel like I can bring faith. I can have faith in the world we are struggling though and my health issues and that my family will be okay. I can also BRING my perspective to others, pass the spark, move the torch, light a fire. He brings us the story. It’s up to us if we chose to listen.

Love you.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 08 2025
Leave a comment
Auto Immune Disease, death, family, Getting old, health, mental health, random, rheumatoid arthritis, writing

Navigating Illness and Spiritual Growth

Or also know as: A Lenten Reflective Journey…With Hiccups.

Ahhh, Facebook….the best online hang in the world to connect, yet simultaneously annoying, politically stressful and chock full of HACKERS.

Last month, I saw a dear friend involved in a Facebook #rethinkchurch daily practice, inspired by The United Methodist Church. She was participating with another lovely friend who moved to the Big Stone Gap, and it’s been nice to be able to keep tabs on her and her wonderful life out there. I was intrigued by the idea of spiritual reflection, with a sprinkle of accountability. It’s always been a good look for me. In the last three years, I very painfully lost my dad and have been suffering from chronic health issues. My kids are getting older, life is moving so much faster. I feel very grateful for my soul mate husband, my loving children, family, friends, my home and my life. I am washed over with the overwhelming need to express my gratitude and thankfulness.

I had somewhat of a darker experience with religion when I was younger. Dark isn’t quite the right word. It’s not a positive word to pinpoint, but it was…problematic? So, as we sometimes do, I put it all in my pocket and I shoved it in the back of the closet. Well. Seems like I’m feeling the need to clean a little house. Exploring my relationship with religion and God has slowing inched over to me on the couch. I’m starting to lean in and I’m starting to listen.

At the beginning of March, I started the daily #lentphotoaday, prompted by a suggested word. I would post it on my FB page, tagging my reflective Lent tribe. I loved it. I was waking up every morning, inspired by nature outside my window, old photos, memories and pulling out our old family Bible. It all felt very cathartic and warm to explore.

And then we got Facebooked hacked.

And then I got really sick.

And then, instead of being able to reflect on my past, present and future relationship with God, and preparing for Easter in my own little way, I was just praying to God that I would get better and not die in the hospital. Not the journey I was intending.

I was in there seven days with a virus that turned pneumonic, and heavy IV steroids that bumped me to coma-high blood sugars. All of that craziness thrust me into a rancid, full-blown case of Diabetes. It sounds dramatic because it is. It sucks. I’m home now in insulin, bruised like a pin cushion, beat-up, weak and exhausted. My new medical path has changed and I will be now focusing on getting better. But I remain positive because LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. I am babying myself so I can keep plugging along. Summer is coming…summer is coming.

In the end, if I can also be honest, I think this worked out. It’s getting me writing again. Also, It was not a comfortable platform for me to be sharing my reflections anyway. My FB circle is used to handling my funny meme’s, annoying mom brag posts and lots of music promotional material. I think it works out for me to head over to this crazy little Heatherland. Its feels so much more appropriate; a public blog, but ironically personal, since no one really reads it.

Therefore, here I am, jumping back into the Lent pool.

Next post: The word of today is BRING.

Love you.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jun 02 2022
2 Comments
death, dementia, family, Getting old, health, parenting, random, writing

The Longest Year

6/2/22

In the longest almost year of my life…dad’s health issues have taken over his Lewybodys Dementia and he’s in his last days. When LBD hit rapidly last July, after a septic UTI and hospital stay, our world was forever changed. Massive significant health problems, including surgeries and an amputation, made his confusion from LBD and his confusion of what was medically happening to him absolutely devastating to witness. Now I sit by him at his facility and he sleeps most of the time. He stopped eating a couple of days ago and it’s even hard to get him to take a few sips of water. I’m a writer, novice, but it’s my love language. I’ve barely been able to even write the utter emotional and physical despair this has inflicted on me and my family. Most importantly, on Dad. How is it possible that in less than a year, I am losing my big, strong, successful, insanely intelligent, funny, loving father? What we are all going through, this is the hardest stuff of life. I’m clinging to him in the last moments of his; praying for his calm and his peace, until he finally can be with our loved ones in Heaven. Hugs to everyone who has had to go through this. You don’t know until you know.

Tagged , , , ,
Feb 14 2022
1 Comment
death, family, Getting old, health, holidays, Marriage, mental health, News, parenting, random, writing

Dementia Doesn’t Care About the Super Bowl

The first headline I read this morning was from Huff Post:

“Gen Xers and Millennial’s Got Into Weirdest Fight Over Super Bowl HalfTime Show”

My eyes are full of tears and I have to look away. I glance up at the hospital room TV. The halftime show star is starting, but it’s on mute. Mike and I are helplessly watching two hospital nurses shake you awake to see if you were ok. It takes about 10 minutes. You are so confused when you wake up. I have to leave to room to go cry in the hallway. Again.

We missed the half time show. But we also didn’t miss a thing. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, Dad. XO

Love,

Twinkle Toes

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Aug 07 2021
Leave a comment
Getting old, health, mental health, writing

Awe Is Not Always Happy

Round two: (better late than never.)

How is he talking to me and he looks like himself and his hands move like himself and I’ve sat in this chair across from him a million times while he sat in that chair across from me a million times? Now all his words in their order make no sense like cut up, strung up and mismatched pieces of fabric. I’m trying to smile on the outside and I’m praying he can’t tell that I’m screaming and crying on the inside.

I’m in awe, and it’s not in the fireworks way, or being at Disney way, or a nurse handing one of my babies in my arms for the first time sort of way. That’s all awe filled with joy.

Tonight he couldn’t tell me very importantly what he very importantly wanted to tell me. That’s awe filled with sad.

Falling asleep, broken heart. Scrunch tears and think of years ago, walking on a beach where he pulled me out of the water, laughed loud, called me “twinkle toes”, skipped a rock and bent down to hold my hand.

That’s happy awe.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Aug 06 2021
Leave a comment
Auto Immune Disease, Debt, Getting old, health, Marriage, Money, parenting, rheumatoid arthritis, writing

Sleeping On A Cloud.

I did not blog yesterday, so now I owe myself two today.

Round one: Yesterday got away from me…and then, we got a big delivery. After 21 years of marriage, we finally bought a new mattress. The one we were sleeping on was a hand-me-down from my parents and I think by the time we got it, it was already 12 years old. Current mattress situation: basically feels like sleeping on an Anglophilian-inspired straw, feather and horse hair stuffed abomination.

We bought a Stearns & Foster, just like my parent’s five-star hotel-like guest bed. While I was recently sick in our hay bed, my husband went to a mattress store, laid on a few, flopped around, called me for final approval, took the leap and paid a stupid amount of money. We had to wait over a month and we were panting for this thing to come. Finally we got word that it was on it’s way and I needed to deal with the bedding situation.

I have a problem with big box stores like Target, Costco, freaking Walmart. If I can’t see windows, I get tweaked. I couldn’t trust getting anything online, because I needed to feel everything. So I hyperventilated through Nordstrom Rack, sweated my way through Target and survived a full-on panic attack in the bedding department at Bed, Bath and Beyond. While I was doing this, number three called me to tell me that she had to leave Great America and go to the ER because her friend got sick (she is totally fine now, Thank God) and she needed a ride home. Full on breakdown in the sheet aisle. I did some lamaze breathing, called number one to go get her. He said, “Mom: Chill. I got her.”

Because of his helpfulness, I bought him new dorm bed sheets and upgraded the thread count. Mad props. I finally settled on 400 count for us and a snuggly UGGS comforter set, all in CREAM. Bold.

So yes, victory. Last night was amazing. It’s like sleeping on a cloud. The mattress is glorious and the bedding is so freaking cozy. The only negative is that one side of the comforter is literally the fuzzy stuff that’s in the inside of an UGG’s boot. Little sweaty. Will be perfect for snuggles in fall and winter. For now I’ll just keep cranking the fan on us.

I crawled in it at 6pm last night and I am still in it at 9:15am. I eventually have to get out of it to go see my dad, but for right now…

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
← Older posts