I have had some extremely special people in my life recently lose extremely special people in their lives. Sadly, we are of that age. Those lives lost effected me too, as I was blessed to have those we lost as tacks on my map. My friends are a gift to me, and so were their family members. I didn’t know them so well, but I knew them well enough. In those friendships, it was a gift to call them friends. They were special and unique people, loved by many, lost to all; way too despicable and fast.
I am shuffling around my house in my slippers crying for my friends and their losses. Only because I know all too well what it’s like to lose. I am still not so okay getting over my father’s passing. It’s painfully lonely. I remember that there wasn’t much anyone could do or say that could make me even. Now, I feel so desperately lost and sad and under water with it all. I don’t know what to do with myself carrying my grief for them all. It’s certainly not about me, but I wish I could take their pain away.
I’m puttering: cleaning and crying and trying to deflect. What can I do? What can I say? No food, no flowers, no errands, maybe not even hugs can help me help them. How do we help our loved ones who lose loved ones? I wish I learned something from my Great Loss, so I can help others going through it, but it’s all blurry and messy and simply just still so painful.
I think the thing to do is just be present. Keep reaching out to offer help, lend an ear to listen, check in. Circle of life is what it is. We all are born and we all pass on. But it just hurts so much because when there is so much love created and connected, the loss is that much more profound. The more you love and are loved, the more it hurts to the core of the inner most middle center piece of your heart.
Every day, precious.
HEATHERLAND 